Well we had the final meeting with the Team yesterday and Dr. Applebaum (who I have to say is brilliant) gave the final recommendation to proceed with the transplant. It was very emotional for me. I sat at the table, crying through the entire meeting. Dr. Applebaum went through every detail, procedure, medication, side-effect, and protocol you can imagine, he never took his eyes from mine and delivered the news I knew he would. We are ready for transplant. I never not cry when I hear it. It is like the first time all over again. Every time...
He said to me "I have to tell you everything once and then we will only focus on getting you better". I cannot tell you how much it took me not to run from the room. He went on and on for a little over 30 minutes and then I signed the Consent for Transplant.
There were a few surprises during the meeting. I was not aware how advanced my myelofibrosis was/is-apparently it is in the "later" stages, advanced. I have a 1 in 10 chance of the mylelofibrosis recurring after transplant and the one that is always a surprise-68% of survival after transplant. How I want that to be 100%. I'll take what I can get. I need to get positive. I need to stop licking my wounds and get strong. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to surrender....
I have given myself until Sunday night.
Monday @ 7:00 am I will go to the University of WA Medical Center to have my central line put in and then Tuesday @ 8:00 am-I will check in for my 4 week stay at the beautiful, 5 star, University of Washington Medical Center where Fred Hutch owns 3 or 4 hepa-filtered floors.
I am scared to death...
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My God Jen, I am sitting here with tears running down my fat face. I have no idea what to say to you except what we have been saying all along WE LOVE you so much and think about you everyday..I dont really pray that often but when I do you are my reason. I am seriously planning a trip to Seattle to see you. I will sit back and wait to hear when is a good time. I hope you know that we will do our part on this coast to make this whole experience for you and your family as easy for you to get thru as possible, IE helping out with the boys and Marc has offered any help with the business..Keep up the faith Jen. WE LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteJen you are literally the most amazing person/mother/wife/business partner/daughter/friend I have EVER met...You are unbelievable and through everything you are strong. Its ok to feel weak sometimes. God is testing you. He is testing your strength. He knows that you can handle this and so do I. You are going to push through this the same way you've pushed through everything in your life. You are strong and you are weak but not because you chose to be. It is impossible to be at your best during this time but if anyone can do it, I know its you. You are smart and you are sweet and you are loyal and fare and you are one of gods children. He would never steer you wrong. Be who you've always been and let your family be your crutch, we all know they are pretty good for that. I love you Jen and I know that you get shit done. No matter what it is whether its getting the kids to school, doing the laundry, selling a fence, being the backbone of an unbelievable family and company, or beating a disease, you GET SHIT DONE. I truly believe that a person with your inborn strength and determination can make it through anything. So just keep your head up. Your not done yet. I love you more than you can imagine and I can not wait to see you when you get home. <3 <3 <3 Courtney
ReplyDeleteJen-
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave and I know you can do this. Don't focus on any percentages or statistics, just focus on your own fight and your children and family. I have every faith in you Jen. Try to keep smiling whenever possible and laugh when you can. I am giving you a big strong hug from PA and praying for you everyday.
Leigh
Jen,
ReplyDeleteWe keep you in our prayers always. Keep the faith and everything will turn out well.
Harry, Theresa, Jacob, Nicholas and Hannah
HI! EN ESTE MOMENTO, ESCRIBO EN ESPAÑOL, DIOS NO SABE DE ESTAS DIFERENCIAS...
ReplyDeletePIDO A DIOS Y MIS PLEGARIAS ESTÁN JUNTO A JEN Y A TODA LA FAMILIA!!!
DIOS AYUDE ACOMPAÑE E ILUMINE A LOS DOCTORES MAÑANA.
ESTOY JUNTO A JEN Y TODOS USTEDES CON MUCHO AMOR!!!
LOVE,
NORITA.
Jen,
ReplyDeleteYou made us cry and laugh. It is ok to be scared. We're scared for you. But we know you are strong and you can do this. God is your backbone now, let him carry you through this. Depend on him in your darkest moments. He will hear you, he will respond in some way and he will help you. We are only human and we have no idea of the power that God has. Your family is there for you too and they are wonderful. Every single day we pray for you. Sometimes I pray for you more than once a day. When I get a flash of you I pray. Prayer works, you know that. We sent a subscription to Body and Soul magazine to your home there. Look for it. We love you all. Wendy and Tom
Jen,
ReplyDeleteWhen my Mom was very ill with advanced cancer, her physician told her, "Mrs. Huth, we know all about the best procedure, the best drugs, the best regimes, but there is one thing we do not understand at all..." And then he took the palm of his hand and lay it on her forehead and said, "It is what is in here. The one factor we cannot account for is you- your heart, your soul, you will." My Mother lived a long, long, time after being told she had only a few months and I believe a big part of that was because he gave her the will to change the course of her cancer. The other thing that she swore changed her outcome was the will of her friends. They prayed for her and loved her from near and far. In her words, "They buoyed me up and changed my course." We love you. Feel our care. Love, Tavis
Jen...You are a Survivor...Your Strength is like Nothing I have EVER seen!!! & as You already know We are the Stronger sex!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI am honored to know such a Wonderful Woman!!!
& I must say your writing skills are Amazing...& constantly improving...lol.. I am no English teacher...but you can really get your thoughts across that your readers can literally get the chills...I know for me, reading this makes me feel closer to You..I hope You know that I wish I could be there holding your hand...I'm pretty tough...I would let you squeeze the shit out of it...kinda like when your in labor...You got through that many times...just shows how tough you are..
This Cancer's Got Nothing on YOU!
Now Put YOUR BIG GIRL Panties On &
Kick the Shit out of this Cancer's ASS!!!!I have YOUR Back, Always!!!
Love You!!!
Angela
AMEN to that Angela!!!!!
ReplyDelete