I cannot tell you how hard it is to to post on this blog. It is like eating something you vomited so violently that the thought is so repulsive you tremble. I have been in and out of bed and am so dreadfully homesick that I can only cry most of the time. I hate to undo all of the positive that my Mom & Sister that have undone. I apologize. I don't know where to begin and to be honest it will probably be years before I can truly remember everything. There is over a week of my life that I have forgotten and many stories to be told. My eyesight is very bad and I find myself typing and retyping because the words are not what they seem. I am beginning to eat and am a very 106 lbs. I am totally bald and somehow I like it - it a way. I am in a resourse center waiting for a transfusion of microfungion, this is after an hour long MRI (very noisy), a poova treatment which is like a tanning bed only much shorter and to try to kill somekind of graft vs host disease that is going on that makes me itch CONTINUOUSLY!!!!
Have to stop now-need to go find my transfusion-I love you all you have no idea-I think of coming home every day-EVERY DAY! BABY STEPS FOR ME.....I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
SO GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU JEN!
ReplyDeleteI check this blog all the time. As bad as you feel right now - at least you have the strength/energy/desire to communicate with the world! It will only go up from here!
Hugs and Love,
Laura Bryan
Jen
ReplyDeleteIt really is great to hear from YOU! Please know that we are all here, waiting to listen, and to learn and to support you with whatever you have to say.
Your will is inspiring. Good for you for posting, and great for you and your honesty.
One day at a time and you'll get there.
Thinking of you,
Leigh
Jen,
ReplyDeleteYou are truly an inspiration! Even on your worst day you think of others. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family every day.
Be strong and you will be home soon!
Ellen Marino
(wrestling)
Hello Only YOU! ONLY YOU! so glad to hear from YOU. Yes, you will be forever changed and out of change comes new growth. You are an amazing and strong woman and you will continue to survive and flourish. I am so happy to hear from you, I miss you, I think about and pray for you every single day. I hope you are looking out on that amazing view from your room and knowing that everyday you are closer to coming home. You are a great writer of your true feelings. It will help you to flush out all of the negative associations you have with this experience. I am sorry you have suffered so much. Know there is an end. Try to eat even when you're not hungry. And almost every time I go to the salon I say I'm going to shave my head because cutting, color and styling is a pain in the ass. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteWendy and Tom
Hey Walker Mom,
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear from you. Your strength and courage is something so inspiring. You are truly a gift that we will not give up...
Keep Hanging Tight Girlfriend and this will be over soon.......
Love Ya!
PS: You are still adorable BALD!!!!!
Jen, I am soo glad that u were able to post a message. I love you soo much and you are sooo beautiful and strong... I am just amazed how well you have done... I love u sooo,,,, keep up the good work....
ReplyDeleteLove u ...Julie and boys
It is great to hear from you, "Jem"!! You are an amazing person. You and your family are so strong. You will get through this chapter in your life! It was nice seeing the picture of you and the kids....you look adorable!!! Hang in there!!! Thinking about you all the time....
ReplyDeleteLove, "Maugie"
Jen,
ReplyDeleteIt is really great to hear from you and I think you are right. You will never be the same - You will be even better!
We miss you all and look forward to your return.
Terry
Hi Honey,
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to see that you had posted on the blog today. I don't know where you get your strength and determination. We know you're going through hell right now, but it will all be behind you soon (I know, NOT soon enough).By the time the new year rolls around, you'll be a brand new you....stronger and healthier than you've felt in such a long time, and only then will you realize that this was all worth it!
We love you!
Mom Mom & Tom